Every parent needs to understand that their child is different from the other and has his own unique behavior, needs, attitude, tantrums and intelligence level. Every child is special and the only people from whom they expect everything are their parents.
Children are like cotton balls, so soft that even a little gush of wind can de-shape them. You really need to protect them, counsel them, understand them. Today, when everything is at a fast-moving pace, its technology everywhere, bad influence, dirty environment and misleading company is very easily found. We can’t keep our children away from it, instead we should make them aware of things instead of hiding or not talking that is going around, the good and the not so good, but if you say that bad is bad, the child is by default going to try it out just out of curiosity.
Counseling your child and making him a friend of yours is most important these days. Your child should know that she/he can tell you anything without any fear of being misjudged. Every child is emotionally very fragile, even a single stroke of bad memory can leave a mark forever. So, to accord with them, you have to be very tactful, you have to help them to deal with their emotions and feelings.
Like, if your child behaves arrogantly or in a non-social manner in front of people, it is obvious that you will feel embarrassed and the instant reaction that comes is that we scold the child in front of everyone or just pull him out of the group. This creates a blockage in the child’s mind. You get embarrassed, so does he. Instead, just get a hold on yourself and take the child aside and patiently but sternly explain it to him that his behavior is unacceptable. Your tone is all that matters. Trust me, the softer you are, the clearer it will register in the child’s brain.
If you think that your child is not listening to you despite constant warnings, then there is something you are lacking. You have to be very clear about your actions. If a yes is a yes then a no should be a no. It should not transform into a yes after a little convincing or pleading. When you talk to your child, make sure your conversation does not transform into an interrogation or an argument.
Likewise, a child’s behavior might change every few days. You need to understand them, give them time, hug them, share your feelings and emotions with them, you will be surprised how well they can comprehend your words or at times even give you a solution for it. Kids always need parents more than presents. Do not accustom them the other way round. Whatever falls on wet cement leaves an impression; in the same manner all your actions leave an everlasting impression on the child’s mind.
I learnt this from my own experience that your mood and attitude reflect a lot on the child’s behavior. There was a time, or you can call it a phase where I was undergoing some stress and used to get angry on every small little thing. I scolded my little one for smallest of her mistakes and kind of overreacted. She misbehaved, did not listen to me and even became arrogant at times. I could not interpret the cause for her attitude until I reflected back on my conduct. It was me due to which she was undergoing such mood swings. From that moment on I toned down myself and I had to fathom the fact that even if hell breaks it should not affect my child.
Children need protection, they feel secure in the presence of their parents but, on the other hand they also need their own space. A child can express himself only when he knows that there is a strong foundation based on trust between him and his parents. There is a thin line between being protective and being over protective. Children have their own self-esteem and we as parents need to know and respect that.
These days we all know that adults or children, anyone is not safe anywhere. Be it school, road, transport or any place. Like adults, children need to be aware about the good and the evil existing in the society. Talk to them freely about the safety precautions they should keep in mind. Make them mindful about strangers, child abuse and whatever little they can do if they by any chance face such a situation. Most relevantly they should know the fact that without any fear they have to tell you the truth. Children forget things easily, so counseling on an almost everyday basis is paramount.
For parents, their child is always the best. But sometimes, this may lead the child on the wrong path also. Encouraging and motivating your child is always important and every parent should do so, but never false praise them. Give your child the gift of acceptance. Winning is important but the spirit to accept defeat should also be inculcated. Only then will the child be balanced in his thinking.
If anytime the child stood second or third, he should accept that someone else stood first and he has to work hard instead of crying n cribbing over it. Easier said than done, but to succeed you seldom have to taste failure. We sometimes have to teach them the hard way in order to make them stand on their own.
The job of a parent is the toughest and each one tries to do his best. Be the pillar in your child’s life and the child shall never let you fall.
