A turbulent time, mixed emotions, confused state of mind, a gush of blood then a cold cold feeling. What a whirlwind of emotions isn’t it?
You must be thinking that I am talking about adulthood, when we are engaged with so many things in life. When we get trapped in various situations multiple times. We face problems at work, difficulties at home, hardship dealing with relations….. there is so much to it. We often get baffled by how much life is throwing at us and all at once.

But, right now I am talking about how we call them….. ‘kids’ . The ones who are almost teenagers and who are already teens. How conveniently we categorize them according to our needs and moods. For things we think they are not too big, we call them kids and for things they don’t want to do we call them grown ups.

To give it a clear thought, this specific age of 11-16 is more confusing and tough for a child than the adults. We, as adults atleast know how to conduct at a place or what are our responsibilities or what is our defined job . But these preteens and teens, they are juggling between what to do and what not to do. And this is where their attitude changes, they experience mood swings, sudden outburst of emotions, sometimes rude, sometimes sitting in their room with the door shut. Naturally, we as parents take this as arrogance, bad company, over or misuse of technology and gadgets.

I wouldn’t completely disagree to the above factors because somewhere I have also been experiencing these things. But on the other hand, after committing blunders, misunderstanding and being more than strict I realized that things are not heading the right way….. infact, I am pushing the boundaries in the opposite direction. With changing times, it is very easy for children to distract themselves or distance themselves from society, friends and even parents. these days kids feel that giving a hug to your parents is not so cool, it is not acceptable if we say a ‘no’ for any demand.

But to think it over, isn’t this what we did, fulfilled almost everything that came out of their mouth … when your kid wanted a hug you were busy in the kitchen or when she disobeyed you , you gave her a good ear full. that’s when gradually your child started distancing herself from you in her subconscious mind. That’s when she thought it is better to be with the phone than with mom. When the advise of a friend seems to be consoling, chatting with them feels far better than spending time at home.

But then, the gap has to be bridged somewhere, a connecting line has to be drawn from your end till her  end. You need to cross that bridge, have a lot (i mean a lot more than a lot) of patience, sometimes just subside that anger building up within you at an unpleasant tone or a shut door. Spend time with your grown up little one because that’s what they really want. They really want to talk, to share, to speak but to a friend, not to a mom or a dad who is ready to give them advise after every sentence. They should not fear talking about their thoughts to you. They are in a vulnerable stage where they feel trapped but want to get liberated. But its difficult to decide how and how much.

When your child reaches your height, its time to lower your hand from her head to her shoulder, become a friend, a confidante .Its ok to ignore the marks or studies sometimes, its ok to ignore the small mistakes at times, its important to also guide and instruct and also discipline them, but in a manner that does not offend or hurt them. We need to be sensitive towards our child’s feelings because they are facing such changes in their head that it becomes difficult for them to decipher it.
Be a parent, be a guide, be a teacher, but most of all , be a friend because your child can really be your best friend.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash