When we talk about ‘love’ certain other phrases like affection, warmth, care, respect, expectations automatically associate themselves with it.

Love is actually a complex term which involves very strong feelings, emotions and behaviors. It has a different definition for every person. For some it is care and respect, for some it might be possessiveness while for some love means freedom.

Love is also not restricted between two people. We can say that it is a non-measurable, unwavering, unparalleled relationship which can be with your own self, with your partner, with your pet, your job and also with God.

Now, we often associate the term ‘expectation’ with love. But what is expectation? According to me, expectation is an inner belief that something is supposed to happen or should happen in a certain manner.

When we get attached to someone, or love them, automatically we start expecting. At times we might not even realize it. Returning back a call, waiting for a meal or just exhibiting a small gesture of concern are all expectations which are sometimes not even obvious to us.

I have read in books and also heard that to attain happiness in life you should free yourself from all expectations. True love is where you do not expect anything in return.

But in real, actual life is it possible that you do not expect anything from anyone? Be it your partner, your parents, kids or friends, is it possible that you live with zero anticipations. I think it is a big NO. Usually, we expect our parents to support us, our partner to understand us, kids, family, friends and other known people to respect and be compatible. We even expect the cab driver to be polite while travelling.

We ought to attain that supreme, close to God and away from all worldly things elevation in life where you are self-satiated and your desires wish to dampen themselves.

I agree that over expecting is also detrimental and we end up hurting ourselves. We should not attach our string of emotions in such an intense manner that it becomes a burden for the other person.

There is a very thin line which we have to draw where we have to stop expecting and getting bothered.

I opine that where there is love there are expectations. But, you cannot expect from everyone you know or things cannot go as desired all the time.

We can definitely limit our level of expectations from people we love. The more we love or are attached to a person, the higher is the degree of expectations. If we get hurt by someone’s actions or reactions that denotes that somewhere we expected something else.

So, I wouldn’t say that we should free ourselves from any desires or expectations from anyone, but assuredly we can reduce it to an extent where it is reasonable and does not hurt either of us.

Instead of seeing yourself surrounded by the clouds of grief, train your mind to be strong enough to alter itself when something unexpected or unapproving happens. Not everyone understands what you expect.

Photo by Jake Thacker on Unsplash