I was talking to Anu the other day, when suddenly I noticed her eyes going moist, nose red and voice getting heavy. She tried to camouflage it with the famous Oh! something went into my eye excuse, but then what are friends for. I just held her hand and gave her a hug and then instant outburst of emotions was something that followed for the next two hours.
I could sense it since a couple of months that she is facing a whirlwind from within but just waited for her to open up. And, that was the day!! It had hardly been a couple of years that she got married and soon after a few months her relationship with her husband started facing turmoils. They used to fight on every petty issue, and it got agitated all the more when the inlaws started interfering. They hardly got any time together, as they were never went out for outings or vacations and both being working in different shifts made the conditions worse.
Whenever they tried to talk , they ended up quarrelling as both of them were gradually developing so much frustration and anger for each other. Anu would prefer going to her parents place and to make situations worse her parents supported her in her wrong decisions. This turned out to be an addition to the fire between Anu and her husband Arush. They fought, they abused, they disrespected, they just denied to understand each other even when they could agree on the same matter.
Weeks passed by like this and finally both of them decided they could not stay with each other and wanted a divorce. But is this really a solution to a problem??? I agree in the most unfavorable cases people opt for a separation choice, but I feel where you entered with your heart a soul, you should atleast give it one try . When a girl or a boy commits to a relation, it is mostly the happy part that he looks forward to….. would anyone ever think on their wedding day that I have to fight with this person or do bad to someone or end up the relation soon.. I am pretty sure NO!! its all just ego, and most of the time misunderstandings created by situations accompanied by people. So, the overall package becomes a bad deal and you start thinking on the terms of calling it null.
A very old saying ‘the other person is always wrong’ turns out to be true in your head here. And that’s what was happening with Anu. Her mind was already on the negative path and with the influence of her dear ones, she was totally behaving bizarre. She did not want to give it a try. I just asked her one question…. Did you ever love your husband?
Her answer was Yes, followed by a But….. I love him but he has changed… I love him but cant stay with his parents…. I love him but he is not the same anymore, he is a puppet for his parents….
Do you ever think that the other person is thinking the same about you. Are you the same like you were the day you fell in love or you committed to each other. M sure your honest reply would also be NO. So, why do you wanna give up on things so easily. You can just give up on something which you really don’t want. If you want something…. Really….. truly…. You shall put in your best. ‘Talk it out’, the best policy which never fails!! And talking without any influence or preconceived notions for each other works out best….just the two of you, your time, your feelings, your anger, your thoughts, no third one involved…… If you have a thousand problems with your partner, same would be with him too…. Before jumping on any decision atleast think, where and how much are you at fault. What are his complaints , what are his expectations…. Put forth yours too…. Express….. understand with an open mind…. When you have shared those happy moments, those laughs, that connection, don’t let it die so soon….
Doing something or taking an extreme step is your decision and is easy but giving your relation one last shot from the heart and soul is definitely worth it. Today, just by behaving in a little matured manner, Anu is happy again, and rather than listening to others she prefers listening to her heart… her husband also acknowledges the fact that Anu is an independent woman with self esteem and deserves equal respect as he does. Haste and anger tried their best but love and compassion had to win over them.
Think before taking any life changing steps…. Your decision can affect many others too!!
Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash
