My friend sounded a little curious and stressed today. On asking, she just asked me a question to which I had like one thousand answers but none satisfactory. She asked me, ‘ what is friendship?’ .  

Most commonly, the first thought that comes to your mind is, friendship is a bond between two people. Friendship is trust, smiles and spending quality time with your friends. I thought of all this but realized that she was definitely not looking for this generalized crappy description.  

So, over a cup of tea we started talking. My main motive was to read her mind and settle it down because she was so boggled up with things happening in her life. 

There are two kinds of people. One, the practical and the adjusting with life types and the other emotional, getting carried away kinds. So, my dear friend Sanjana was certainly in the second category. She loves people from the core of her heart but often forgets that all are not the same. The way you see others they don’t see you the same way. The feelings or the warmth you have for them , its not necessary that it shall be reciprocated… and there is a no ‘why’. Sometimes, people associate themselves with you for their own benefit and once its over, its over from their side. That is when you get hurt, thinking that you gave in your 100% and what you got back was selfishness.  

So, while talking I just told her to keep her expectations to a level where she can handle them. Not everyone can be a best friend. You know so many people but you cant call all of them your friends. You get that one or two friends in a lifetime whom you can actually call best friends. And seriously, you don’t have to search for them. It just happens!! It is the soul connection, the bond which is so strong that cannot be hampered by loss of communication or any silly misunderstanding. You are so similar despite your differences. It is that feeling of trust where you have no secrets, where you need not ask each other ‘what happened?’.  You know it even before the other person says it. 

You know you are with the right person, when you feel comfortable and at peace being in each other’s company. When you value someone you don’t find time in your busy schedule for them, instead you don’t see your schedule when they need you…. Its about prioritizing ! 

Sanjana was listening and then feeling a little low she said, ‘but what if you think the other person is your true friend and you feel so strongly for him/her and suddenly you realize you are not the same for him?’  .  For sometime I was silent because I had no reply to this.. I know how much it hurts when you get this ‘oh, I never thought about you that way’ attitude.  

 All I could tell her was, to stop running in search for a best friend… be your friend!! Love yourself, don’t let people take you for granted or simply walk in and walk out of your life. Once you have that radiance in you created by your own self, you’ll see what difference that has made in your life. The right person , at the right time will be there with you and maybe you won’t even know it until one day  you realize how important you are for that person. Stop chasing and it shall come to you!! 

 

Photo by Nate Greno on Unsplash